Monday, January 26, 2009

COMMON LAW

COMMON LAW

Doctors' Law: If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Oliver's Law of Public Speaking: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance: If the clothes fit, they're ugly and outdated.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Law of Physical Surfaces: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

The Starbucks Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of the Theater: The people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is proportional to the difficulty of the reach.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Bathtub Ring: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Law of Random Numbers: If you dial a wrong number , you will never get a busy signal and someone will always answer.

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Gravity: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to urinate.

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